Beauty: In Frustrating Moments

Value: Beauty It was early Monday morning and my husband’s alarm on his Samsung Tab 3 went off just before 3:00 am. He was totally annoyed and couldn’t think why. Sometimes, we touch knobs and buttons by accident and we are altogether in the dark as to why things happen. So, as he wandered around the house seemingly wide awake he took a picture out of the front door to record a snow fall the day after Mother’s Day. It was only a skiff of snow, but the glistening of the streetlights and the powder white substance on the front lawn was a beautiful site. He was wide awake for several more minutes, but he soon was fast asleep again with his photo - a special prize! How many of us see beauty in our frustrating moments. Value beauty!

Nature: How serene!

Value: Nature To Hadley, solitude is yoga. To Emily, solitude is reading the scriptures. Today, my solitude is sitting in my car at the park under the shade of a tree with a warm breeze whispering through the front windows. The cottonwood leaves were shimmering high above where wispy and powder-puff clouds hover above. The birds are chirping in the distance accompanied by the whiz of vehicles about 300 yards away. The squeak of the playground swings are accompanied by father and child interacting and mother and son playing catch with a beach ball. Sounds echo close by in the slam of a car door and the conversations of two cyclists swiftly passing by my car. How serene! Two roller bladers pass by on the walking path 30 yards away. A flag waves proudly in the distance on the top of a tall building and some quail run swiftly across the pathway and grass into the bushes by my side. Nature is serenity - beautiful and peaceful. Value Nature!

Positive Reinforcement: You're A Good Breather

Value: Positive Reinforcement Have you ever told a co-worker “Good Job?” Have you told your son or daughter lately that you appreciate their help (no matter how great or small)? Have you smiled at a store clerk and thanked them for their assistance? Have you patted your dog’s head and said “Good Dog?” OR Have you ever had someone complain to you, yell, throw a pen (or something bigger) at you, scream, or hold up their “one” finger salute? I’m sure you would have preferred a positive comment rather than a negative one. We all need to use positive reinforcement even if it is only to say “You’re a good breather!” In our homes now, we are rushed to get off to work and school. We are stressed at the end of the day because of commitments, homework or a home that needs repairs, cleaning, or just everyday meal preparation. How many of us tend to find fault with or criticize our family members/friends or rag on them for things done wrong or not at all? Strive each day to find something nice to say. Find ways to complement each other. Find ways to bring kindness into your conversations. Find ways to reinforce good behavior in your children and loved ones. Value positive reinforcement!

Belief: Life After Death

Value: Belief We have had two distant cousins die in the last week from illnesses that have been brutal on each of these individuals. The first cousin died of ALS where the family watched a brilliant mother and wife who had been a gardener, a candy maker, and a community minded individual become unable to care for herself. The second cousin was a mother who survived cancer for 21 years and finally passed away in hospital. We had a daughter who died two years ago of colon cancer. She fought a good fight for 4½ years. She left four wonderful children still in their pre-teen state and a wonderful husband who cared for her each and every day. She had wonderful friends and family that rallied by her side with all modern medicine could do, but still the Lord wanted her home. She was heard calling out to and speaking briefly to her late grandmother who she saw at the foot of her bed the day before she died. Because I believe in life after death, in a life with loved ones and family, I know with all of my being that this life is not the end. All deaths are hard because we do not have them with us in this life to be part of our daily activities, but it is easy to know that it won’t be long until we are together again, laughing and talking in a world that is free of death, sorrow and pain. Value Belief!

Reading: Read To Me

Value: Reading Last month, I was impressed with an auto glass repair shop for having a book shelf in their waiting room along with a table full of magazines. On that book shelf were a several books that were unusual for an auto shop, for example: History of Art, RV Repair and Maintenance Manual, and Story of Painting. How nice it was to think that someone’s new talent for the future may have been found in one of those books. I love books. I look at, read, study, and peruse. I catalogue all my books at home by topic like a library so that I can find what I am looking for very easily. We have books for reference, like dictionaries, languages, gardening, computers, cooking, health, psychology, parenting, teaching, writing, etc. We have always had a collection. We get books from libraries, book stores (physical stores or online), or from garage sales, second hand stores, neighbors and ‘free to me’ book drop offs. My latest acquisitions have been the classics or other books - in duplicate. I keep them in my car and one grandchild will take one and then I can read with them in person, over the phone, or on FaceTime or Skype. Last night a 6 year old sat next to me intensely listening as I read the first 2 chapters of The Indian in the Cupboard. Cherish reading. Read to your children or those in your charge. Have them read to you or to each other. Turn off your other gaming electronics for an hour or more each day to foster reading. Imaginations can be fostered, interests can be captured and magic can happen thru books. Grades will improve and you will ignite a love of reading for the rest of their lives. Value Reading!

Courtesy: Morning Traffic

Value: Courtesy May 4th, I was on the I-15 first thing in the morning and found six lanes of heavy traffic. Upon entering the freeway, I stood still for 2 minutes and then I was able to proceed to 20 mph. Cars would try to change lanes and something unusual was happening. Cars parted and they were also allowing others to change lanes. I was amazed – was it the full moon. I maybe witnessed the honk for a car not jumping at a green light left turn but, hey, the day started great. Yet, the next day, I needed an extra dose of patience. The day started with every intersection hearing a horn honked and every lane of traffic had its clown who needed to dart in and out shoving their car into the tightest of openings. I don’t think everyone who drives has had driver’s education. I can really tell! There were no blinkers used for lane changes, no proper spaces left between vehicles, no shoulder checking and no courtesy for entering or exiting vehicles – either those already there or the new ones trying to make their move. Maybe my patience has to come from within before I even begin my drive? Value courtesy!

Time With My Daughter

Value Time! I picked up my married daughter from work a few nights ago, just because she needed the ride and I needed some time to just talk to her. It had been months since I had had any visit at all. The time went fast and we just talked, saying generally nothing, but spent that time together like the good old days when she was in high school. Back then I would pick her up from her evening job at the Welling store. Tonight, as we drove in drive way, she had to run saying a quick goodbye. We had spent less than 40 minutes together. We didn’t stop for gas or a pop or even a Slurpee like we sometimes do, but it was short and sweet, and I was privileged to be able to spend that time. Value Time!

Fuzzy Peach Candies

Value: Sharing I went to take the last of the Maynard fuzzy peach candies out of the sack between the front seats and my husband’s hand was in the sack first. He let out a laugh as if to say, “I got the last one!” I then reached in and found one more candy. “Ha Ha,” I replied, “I got the last one.” We laughed talking about looking out for ourselves in getting our fair share, but really when it comes down to it, we really look out for each other. We take care of each other and we share. That is really what our friendship is all about. Each of us grew up as one of six siblings and as parents of six children, we always had to share and tried to teach our children to share, i.e., the box of candy, the bike in the yard, the chores of mowing the lawn or feeding the dog. We all took our turns and tried to share just like dividing up a dessert. We also honored someone’s piece of the dessert and protected it until they were able to eat it later. That is part of sharing. Value Sharing!

Family Recipes

Value: Tradition My daughter asked me the other day for some recipes for her son – recipes that I used to make. Years ago, when I had teenagers, I took my recipes and carefully wrote my favorite ones - each on a half sheet of paper in my own handwriting and printed them out in pink paper. Then I bound each set together with a coil ring so that my daughters would have our favorite recipes to take with them babysitting, to a friends’ house, or off to college. It has been more than 20 years since I made up those little books and those pages have long since been lost, but I did type them into the computer and they are sealed in my memory.

Thinking about my daughter’s request, I went through my recipes on the computer and printed off the ones that would have been in that little notebook long ago. I have added a few more that have been special and I just glued them all into a little journal. Now, I have the nucleus of a book that I can make up for my grandchildren. Of the recipes I have collected, there are some from my in-laws and some from my daughter’s and son’s in-laws – a real family combination. This will be a fine tribute to our family. It is a collection of good food, special tastes, and valued memories. Value Tradition!

Family Celebrations

Value: Tradition This past week-end my daughter’s neighborhood was brimming with families all celebrating Cinco de Mayo – Children were playing with cousins and friends. Mothers were visiting with sisters and fathers were visiting with brothers. Two friends were tossing the football on the front lawn. The barbecue was on the patio with the fresh scent of meat and barbecue sauce as well as sounds were heard from the celebration at the park close by. It was a day of celebration. Family is important. We need the friendship, the support, the belonging that comes from friends and family. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War. Today, the holiday has evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage. The picture attached is one from this celebration. Value Tradition!

Hillside Funeral

Value: Serenity We were at the funeral last week of a first cousin once removed. As each of the five grown children got up to tell little stories about their mother it was evident that their mother loved a good time with her family laughing and singing, hiking and traveling. She spent many hours improving her education and researching her ancestors. As each child told of fun family experiences the congregation was entertained by their comical treasured moments with their mom. On a more serious note, the music and final remarks by her Bishop reminded us of the Gospel plan of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. As the family and friends gathered at the grave site, we were surprised to learn of a delay in the final graveside service. Many could have found fault or could have been upset, but as the cool breeze blew across the hillside, family and friends waited patiently providing more time for family to visit and to meditate on the beautiful surroundings of the final resting place of this dear mother. Value serenity!

Investigating Me

Value: Security Since getting my new, artificial knee a year ago, I now have a problem in airport security. Most often, I go through the larger scanner which will show a yellow spot at my knee and then a woman TSA agent will use her wand and go over my personage to detect the metal location. When she uses her gloved hand to ‘pat’ me down, normally, I smile and say “that’s OK!” and in 30 seconds, I am ready to leave. Last week I was flying to visit family and I expected the normal security only it was not. As I went through the scanner, I noticed a large yellow target on my belly. I could not imagine what was wrong. After the scanner, I had 2 female TSA agents check me out. The first one seemed busy, the area was crowded and the traffic was heavy so after many swipes, she turned me over to another agent. After several more swipes with her hands, I began to feel embarrassed. I mentioned that maybe we should have done this privately and I saw a look of hostility with the retort “Do you think so?” “No, I am OK!” I quickly snapped. Another 15 seconds and we were done with that part. Then, we gathered up my satchel and my purse and the agent proceeded to swipe inside and outside of every little pocket and crevice with about five different, little residue strips. After replaying this scenario to my husband at the end of my trip, my husband just laughed. What was wrong, I asked myself. Looking down at my midsection, I then realized something new. The shirt I was wearing had sequins all over the front of it in the same pattern that I had seen on the scanner. Feeling my foolishness for being upset, I realized that I had experienced TSA thoroughly investigating something unusual. Threat comes in many disguises. Value Security!

Even Mistakes Have a Purpose

Value: Learning from Mistakes. Yesterday, I thought that I was having a blond or a senior moment. Maybe I was! I was at the corner store buying milk and bread. I tried to use my bank debit card, then my MasterCard and then another credit card. Nothing would work. I didn't even have cash on me. I thought that I may have been a target of some foul play so I decided to go next door to the bank and check on my accounts. All were OK. Then, I sat in my car and phoned my credit car company and told them that I had been out of town two weeks ago, but that I was home now. They told me that they had that information and that my credit was available and that maybe it was that the store machines were not working. Going back into the store now feeling like I was ready for an argument, I tried the card again and it didn't work. A second clerk standing near the first for support leaned over to me and asked if I had entered my pin. "Oh,"I exclaimed. "No I didn't and I hadn't before either." We had a laugh and they made certain to tell me that I should come on a Thursday when seniors got 20% off on many items. Four hours later, I received a call from my credit card company. "Kristi?" the man on the phone asked. "Are you home? This is ...... from your bank credit card company and your card has just been used at Target in New York for $687.51 (amount approximate), but it was declined. We know that you called our office today." Wanting to verify what the man was saying, I told them that I would not give any information over the phone to him, but that I would call my company at a number on the back of my card. When I called my card company, they verified what the man had said. They will send me another card with a new number so I promptly cut up the one in question.

I believe that my mistake of not entering my pin number made me more aware of my own financial safety and I believe that when some things happen, they happen for a reason. Live each day with ability to jump over the rough spots because sometimes even Mistakes have a Purpose.

Settling Arguments

Value Communication and Negotiation. My husband and I were having lunch the other day with some dear friends, Marty & Geri. Because they have as many grandchildren as we do and they had 8 children and we had six, lessons taught children in awkward and funny circumstances always is discussed. This time we discussed at length the value of settling arguments or the value of teaching grandchildren how to settle arguments. They told us some of their philosophies of how they taught their children to settle their own arguments. Because it was always difficult with 8 children to know where the argument started they would take both children and sit them on the stairway and tell them that they could not move until they were friends again. Sometimes it would take a short time and sometimes it would take a long time. As these children sat on the stairs they would have to decide whose turn it was to play with which toy. Sometimes it was very difficult. But after a while they would both come down from the stairway and go back to what they were doing. Sometimes Geri would see her children take themselves to the stairway to discuss a problem and then go back to playing. The stairway was neutral ground where they could both think clearly about the outcome of their dilemma. Sometimes Marty could hear negotiations coming from the middle of the floor. The children didn’t always need to go to the stairway. These children had learned the art of negotiation without argument which has kept these siblings friends to this day some 30 years later. Isn’t it essential for us to teach this to our children in this day and age where there is so much to disagree about with our peers and our own siblings? Teaching children to negotiate a peaceful settlement is a value worth teaching.

Cyber Bullying

Value Communication & Technology. It is used for so many wonderful things and wonderful learning experiences, but it can also be used in destructive ways. We have a responsibility to protect our children by educating them in the ways to act, use and to behave on the internet and with our technology. You can help by educating your family. According to http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html there is a problem. “Cyber bullying affects many adolescents and teens on a daily basis. Cyber bullying involves using technology, like cell phones and the Internet, to bully or harass another person. Cyber bullying can take many forms: 1. Sending mean messages or threats to a person’s email account or cell phone. 2. Spreading rumors online or through tests 3. Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages. 4. Stealing a person’s account information to break into their account and send damaging messages. 5. Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person. 6. Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person. In an article published by Raychelle Cassanda Lohmann M.S., L.P C., on May 14, 2012, in Psychology Today, she tells how teens can protect themselves. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201205/cyberbullying-versus-traditional-bullying 1. Tell a trusted adult if you’re being cyber bullied. 2. If you know someone who’s being a cyber bully, tell her/him to knock it off, if they don’t report it. 3. Contact host/site provides if inappropriate materials is being posted on their site. 4. Save all evidence if you’re being bullied online. Don’t delete without keeping a coy for yourself. 5. Don’t respond to rude messages 6. If someone angers you, wait, don’t fire off a rude comeback. It’ll only make things worse. 7. Don’t share personal information online. 8. Protect your user name and password. Don’t share it with friends. 9. Don’t open anything from someone you don’t know 10. Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information 11. Choose your friends wisely. 12. Only accept close friends on your social networking sites. 13. Don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t mind your parents seeing. 14. Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. My children and my grandchildren have already been subjected to these kinds of things and I feel that it has to stop. We need to educate our children to report problems as they happen to their parents and also, if necessary, to legal authorities. We can protect our children by educating them to be able to act and not react. Technology Self Defense is a Value.