Even Mistakes Have a Purpose

Value: Learning from Mistakes. Yesterday, I thought that I was having a blond or a senior moment. Maybe I was! I was at the corner store buying milk and bread. I tried to use my bank debit card, then my MasterCard and then another credit card. Nothing would work. I didn't even have cash on me. I thought that I may have been a target of some foul play so I decided to go next door to the bank and check on my accounts. All were OK. Then, I sat in my car and phoned my credit car company and told them that I had been out of town two weeks ago, but that I was home now. They told me that they had that information and that my credit was available and that maybe it was that the store machines were not working. Going back into the store now feeling like I was ready for an argument, I tried the card again and it didn't work. A second clerk standing near the first for support leaned over to me and asked if I had entered my pin. "Oh,"I exclaimed. "No I didn't and I hadn't before either." We had a laugh and they made certain to tell me that I should come on a Thursday when seniors got 20% off on many items. Four hours later, I received a call from my credit card company. "Kristi?" the man on the phone asked. "Are you home? This is ...... from your bank credit card company and your card has just been used at Target in New York for $687.51 (amount approximate), but it was declined. We know that you called our office today." Wanting to verify what the man was saying, I told them that I would not give any information over the phone to him, but that I would call my company at a number on the back of my card. When I called my card company, they verified what the man had said. They will send me another card with a new number so I promptly cut up the one in question.

I believe that my mistake of not entering my pin number made me more aware of my own financial safety and I believe that when some things happen, they happen for a reason. Live each day with ability to jump over the rough spots because sometimes even Mistakes have a Purpose.

Settling Arguments

Value Communication and Negotiation. My husband and I were having lunch the other day with some dear friends, Marty & Geri. Because they have as many grandchildren as we do and they had 8 children and we had six, lessons taught children in awkward and funny circumstances always is discussed. This time we discussed at length the value of settling arguments or the value of teaching grandchildren how to settle arguments. They told us some of their philosophies of how they taught their children to settle their own arguments. Because it was always difficult with 8 children to know where the argument started they would take both children and sit them on the stairway and tell them that they could not move until they were friends again. Sometimes it would take a short time and sometimes it would take a long time. As these children sat on the stairs they would have to decide whose turn it was to play with which toy. Sometimes it was very difficult. But after a while they would both come down from the stairway and go back to what they were doing. Sometimes Geri would see her children take themselves to the stairway to discuss a problem and then go back to playing. The stairway was neutral ground where they could both think clearly about the outcome of their dilemma. Sometimes Marty could hear negotiations coming from the middle of the floor. The children didn’t always need to go to the stairway. These children had learned the art of negotiation without argument which has kept these siblings friends to this day some 30 years later. Isn’t it essential for us to teach this to our children in this day and age where there is so much to disagree about with our peers and our own siblings? Teaching children to negotiate a peaceful settlement is a value worth teaching.

Cyber Bullying

Value Communication & Technology. It is used for so many wonderful things and wonderful learning experiences, but it can also be used in destructive ways. We have a responsibility to protect our children by educating them in the ways to act, use and to behave on the internet and with our technology. You can help by educating your family. According to http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html there is a problem. “Cyber bullying affects many adolescents and teens on a daily basis. Cyber bullying involves using technology, like cell phones and the Internet, to bully or harass another person. Cyber bullying can take many forms: 1. Sending mean messages or threats to a person’s email account or cell phone. 2. Spreading rumors online or through tests 3. Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages. 4. Stealing a person’s account information to break into their account and send damaging messages. 5. Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person. 6. Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person. In an article published by Raychelle Cassanda Lohmann M.S., L.P C., on May 14, 2012, in Psychology Today, she tells how teens can protect themselves. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201205/cyberbullying-versus-traditional-bullying 1. Tell a trusted adult if you’re being cyber bullied. 2. If you know someone who’s being a cyber bully, tell her/him to knock it off, if they don’t report it. 3. Contact host/site provides if inappropriate materials is being posted on their site. 4. Save all evidence if you’re being bullied online. Don’t delete without keeping a coy for yourself. 5. Don’t respond to rude messages 6. If someone angers you, wait, don’t fire off a rude comeback. It’ll only make things worse. 7. Don’t share personal information online. 8. Protect your user name and password. Don’t share it with friends. 9. Don’t open anything from someone you don’t know 10. Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information 11. Choose your friends wisely. 12. Only accept close friends on your social networking sites. 13. Don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t mind your parents seeing. 14. Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. My children and my grandchildren have already been subjected to these kinds of things and I feel that it has to stop. We need to educate our children to report problems as they happen to their parents and also, if necessary, to legal authorities. We can protect our children by educating them to be able to act and not react. Technology Self Defense is a Value.

Family Night at the School

Value obedience and love. He did not look rebellious, standing there with his hands to his eyes and his head pressed against the glass. He was only seven and had dashed away from home in only knee shorts, a Tee shirt, runners with black socks and a black baseball cap perched up on his head as he peered in through the school door windows. He arrived at the school when there had been a family seeking information from the custodian regarding the family night activity. Austin had stayed behind when they left, between the two sets of doors, just waiting for the doors to open in fifteen minutes. He then had thirty minutes more before show time. "How lonesome he looks" I thought as I sent a text on my phone to his parents telling them I would bring him home. Thirty minutes ago, he had left the house not aware that his family had other plans tonight and had explained to the other children that they were not going to attend. Panic struck Mom and Dad when they found he was gone. It was dark and cold outside, maybe 44 F. He ran down the dark path past the two blocks of houses, some decorated with Christmas lights that lit his way. Then, he came to the to the dark, duck pond swollen with blackness, not even a moon out to reflect its light and the sun had faded from the sky a good hour ago. As I walked up to the door of the school, he turned around and looked up at me. I held out my hand and he came sweetly and obediently with me to my car. As his grandmother, I told him how worried we had been and how dangerous it could have been. He replied with his own impressions of what was happening. He expressed concern about getting there on time and told me that the last time his family had attended the school’s family night they were late and missed the movie. He told me about school and about the little girl who chases him at recess. He went on and on all about school as we rounded each corner. As we pulled up in front of his house, his dad was waiting on the porch for him. As he hopped out of the car, I told him I loved him and he said “I love you too, Grandma." He closed the car door and walked with a spring to his step all the way up to his father. I know that I gained a new love for that little boy that night because of how sweet he was to me when I stretched out my hand. In my mind, peace and understanding span all of the chasms of disobedience.

Walnut Trees

Value Service: One day, we found out there was a neighbor giving away walnuts from the trees in her yard. We decided to take 4 of our grand-children, so we loaded the them into our vehicle and headed down the street. As we went to the door, Natalie came out and we were told again that we could pick or knock down what we wanted out of the tree. The trees were huge and the bottom branches on the first tree were over 10 feet above the ground. The second tree had lower branches. Not seeing any walnuts on the ground, we were discouraged and decided to allow the eldest to try climbing the tree to see what he could do, but the remaining walnuts were far out of his reach. In spite of being disheartened, we enlisted everyone's help to provide a service by filling their bags with leaves that had been knocked off the tree by previous harvesters. As the six of us started picking up the leaves, we found walnuts lying under them. They had been pressed into the lawn by other visitors and were temporarily hidden from our view. “I found one,” came a cry from one of the children. “Here is another,” someone called out. So, we learned the value of service and the blessings that come from that service. We returned home with more than 2 quarts of walnuts, stories of climbing trees, picking leaves and visiting with the owner and of course, our stop for an Oreo McFlurry. We were able to experience the physical rewards, as well as the reward of feeling good in our hearts for doing a service.

Listening to the Spirit

Value Listening to the Spirit: On Friday morning, I packed the car with a skirt and a jacket for our day trip and an evening area reunion, the thought came into my mind to take my rolling brief case. For this trip my case carried my medicine, my IPad, my Dell laptop, address lists, note pad, word search book and extra pens. Often, my husband and I were known to carry the most unusual things with us, “just in case.” “No, not that heavy thing,” I thought. The thought came again and it was so strong, I followed the prompting and put the case in the car. After a full day running errands and visiting family, we finally arrived at our potluck supper reunion and were having a wonderful time laughing and talking with old friends. Then, out of the blue, a young man approached and asked if I had some Benadryl. A young adult had just ingested something that had given him an allergic reaction. I had what was needed, not an EpiPen, but an antihistamine that could help with a minor reaction. I value conscious listening to the positive promptings of guidance to do good things in our lives.