Settling Arguments

Value Communication and Negotiation. My husband and I were having lunch the other day with some dear friends, Marty & Geri. Because they have as many grandchildren as we do and they had 8 children and we had six, lessons taught children in awkward and funny circumstances always is discussed. This time we discussed at length the value of settling arguments or the value of teaching grandchildren how to settle arguments. They told us some of their philosophies of how they taught their children to settle their own arguments. Because it was always difficult with 8 children to know where the argument started they would take both children and sit them on the stairway and tell them that they could not move until they were friends again. Sometimes it would take a short time and sometimes it would take a long time. As these children sat on the stairs they would have to decide whose turn it was to play with which toy. Sometimes it was very difficult. But after a while they would both come down from the stairway and go back to what they were doing. Sometimes Geri would see her children take themselves to the stairway to discuss a problem and then go back to playing. The stairway was neutral ground where they could both think clearly about the outcome of their dilemma. Sometimes Marty could hear negotiations coming from the middle of the floor. The children didn’t always need to go to the stairway. These children had learned the art of negotiation without argument which has kept these siblings friends to this day some 30 years later. Isn’t it essential for us to teach this to our children in this day and age where there is so much to disagree about with our peers and our own siblings? Teaching children to negotiate a peaceful settlement is a value worth teaching.

Definitions

VALIANT: according to the Miriam-Webster dictionary states: "having or showing courage : very brave or courageous. Examples of VALIANT She died last year after a valiant battle with cancer. Origin of VALIANT Middle English vailant, valiant, from Anglo-French vaillant worthy, strong, courageous, from present participle of valerto be of worth, from Latin valēre to be strong. First Known Use: 14th century." http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/valiant VALUES: In the Miriam-Webster dictionary it states: "something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable...Example: No one can deny the value of a good education. Origin of VALUE - Middle English, worth, high quality, from Anglo-French... participle of Latin valēre to be of worth, be strong. First Known Use: 14th century." http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/values

Acknowledging Valiant Values

Value Values: For many years, I was fascinated by the word VALUES and the fact that many people teach VALUES in their churches and in their homes. I was taught at an early age the value of knowledge, honesty, fairness, gratitude, work and sharing. When there was something good or something that I revered or held dear, I would try to find out how it's meaning played a part in my life. Changes in my life occurred because of someone's fairness, generosity, or tolerance shown to me. I remembered those times by recording those experiences in my journal. Those special times came from a kind word, a warm smile, a gentle touch, a bird's song, or from silence when a clear voice spoke to my heart or when I felt a prompting from God. The purpose of this blog will be to find choice values in everything that I see, hear, experience and live. As I write about it, those values will become more vivid in my mind. I want to acknowledge the kindness of those who have made a difference in my life and in the lives of others. I want to give recognition to youth who have learned, at a young age, to make values a part of their lives. I want to make VALUES a VALIANT part of my life now.