Family Celebrations

Value: Tradition This past week-end my daughter’s neighborhood was brimming with families all celebrating Cinco de Mayo – Children were playing with cousins and friends. Mothers were visiting with sisters and fathers were visiting with brothers. Two friends were tossing the football on the front lawn. The barbecue was on the patio with the fresh scent of meat and barbecue sauce as well as sounds were heard from the celebration at the park close by. It was a day of celebration. Family is important. We need the friendship, the support, the belonging that comes from friends and family. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War. Today, the holiday has evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage. The picture attached is one from this celebration. Value Tradition!

Hillside Funeral

Value: Serenity We were at the funeral last week of a first cousin once removed. As each of the five grown children got up to tell little stories about their mother it was evident that their mother loved a good time with her family laughing and singing, hiking and traveling. She spent many hours improving her education and researching her ancestors. As each child told of fun family experiences the congregation was entertained by their comical treasured moments with their mom. On a more serious note, the music and final remarks by her Bishop reminded us of the Gospel plan of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. As the family and friends gathered at the grave site, we were surprised to learn of a delay in the final graveside service. Many could have found fault or could have been upset, but as the cool breeze blew across the hillside, family and friends waited patiently providing more time for family to visit and to meditate on the beautiful surroundings of the final resting place of this dear mother. Value serenity!

Investigating Me

Value: Security Since getting my new, artificial knee a year ago, I now have a problem in airport security. Most often, I go through the larger scanner which will show a yellow spot at my knee and then a woman TSA agent will use her wand and go over my personage to detect the metal location. When she uses her gloved hand to ‘pat’ me down, normally, I smile and say “that’s OK!” and in 30 seconds, I am ready to leave. Last week I was flying to visit family and I expected the normal security only it was not. As I went through the scanner, I noticed a large yellow target on my belly. I could not imagine what was wrong. After the scanner, I had 2 female TSA agents check me out. The first one seemed busy, the area was crowded and the traffic was heavy so after many swipes, she turned me over to another agent. After several more swipes with her hands, I began to feel embarrassed. I mentioned that maybe we should have done this privately and I saw a look of hostility with the retort “Do you think so?” “No, I am OK!” I quickly snapped. Another 15 seconds and we were done with that part. Then, we gathered up my satchel and my purse and the agent proceeded to swipe inside and outside of every little pocket and crevice with about five different, little residue strips. After replaying this scenario to my husband at the end of my trip, my husband just laughed. What was wrong, I asked myself. Looking down at my midsection, I then realized something new. The shirt I was wearing had sequins all over the front of it in the same pattern that I had seen on the scanner. Feeling my foolishness for being upset, I realized that I had experienced TSA thoroughly investigating something unusual. Threat comes in many disguises. Value Security!

Even Mistakes Have a Purpose

Value: Learning from Mistakes. Yesterday, I thought that I was having a blond or a senior moment. Maybe I was! I was at the corner store buying milk and bread. I tried to use my bank debit card, then my MasterCard and then another credit card. Nothing would work. I didn't even have cash on me. I thought that I may have been a target of some foul play so I decided to go next door to the bank and check on my accounts. All were OK. Then, I sat in my car and phoned my credit car company and told them that I had been out of town two weeks ago, but that I was home now. They told me that they had that information and that my credit was available and that maybe it was that the store machines were not working. Going back into the store now feeling like I was ready for an argument, I tried the card again and it didn't work. A second clerk standing near the first for support leaned over to me and asked if I had entered my pin. "Oh,"I exclaimed. "No I didn't and I hadn't before either." We had a laugh and they made certain to tell me that I should come on a Thursday when seniors got 20% off on many items. Four hours later, I received a call from my credit card company. "Kristi?" the man on the phone asked. "Are you home? This is ...... from your bank credit card company and your card has just been used at Target in New York for $687.51 (amount approximate), but it was declined. We know that you called our office today." Wanting to verify what the man was saying, I told them that I would not give any information over the phone to him, but that I would call my company at a number on the back of my card. When I called my card company, they verified what the man had said. They will send me another card with a new number so I promptly cut up the one in question.

I believe that my mistake of not entering my pin number made me more aware of my own financial safety and I believe that when some things happen, they happen for a reason. Live each day with ability to jump over the rough spots because sometimes even Mistakes have a Purpose.

Settling Arguments

Value Communication and Negotiation. My husband and I were having lunch the other day with some dear friends, Marty & Geri. Because they have as many grandchildren as we do and they had 8 children and we had six, lessons taught children in awkward and funny circumstances always is discussed. This time we discussed at length the value of settling arguments or the value of teaching grandchildren how to settle arguments. They told us some of their philosophies of how they taught their children to settle their own arguments. Because it was always difficult with 8 children to know where the argument started they would take both children and sit them on the stairway and tell them that they could not move until they were friends again. Sometimes it would take a short time and sometimes it would take a long time. As these children sat on the stairs they would have to decide whose turn it was to play with which toy. Sometimes it was very difficult. But after a while they would both come down from the stairway and go back to what they were doing. Sometimes Geri would see her children take themselves to the stairway to discuss a problem and then go back to playing. The stairway was neutral ground where they could both think clearly about the outcome of their dilemma. Sometimes Marty could hear negotiations coming from the middle of the floor. The children didn’t always need to go to the stairway. These children had learned the art of negotiation without argument which has kept these siblings friends to this day some 30 years later. Isn’t it essential for us to teach this to our children in this day and age where there is so much to disagree about with our peers and our own siblings? Teaching children to negotiate a peaceful settlement is a value worth teaching.

Cyber Bullying

Value Communication & Technology. It is used for so many wonderful things and wonderful learning experiences, but it can also be used in destructive ways. We have a responsibility to protect our children by educating them in the ways to act, use and to behave on the internet and with our technology. You can help by educating your family. According to http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html there is a problem. “Cyber bullying affects many adolescents and teens on a daily basis. Cyber bullying involves using technology, like cell phones and the Internet, to bully or harass another person. Cyber bullying can take many forms: 1. Sending mean messages or threats to a person’s email account or cell phone. 2. Spreading rumors online or through tests 3. Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages. 4. Stealing a person’s account information to break into their account and send damaging messages. 5. Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person. 6. Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person. In an article published by Raychelle Cassanda Lohmann M.S., L.P C., on May 14, 2012, in Psychology Today, she tells how teens can protect themselves. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201205/cyberbullying-versus-traditional-bullying 1. Tell a trusted adult if you’re being cyber bullied. 2. If you know someone who’s being a cyber bully, tell her/him to knock it off, if they don’t report it. 3. Contact host/site provides if inappropriate materials is being posted on their site. 4. Save all evidence if you’re being bullied online. Don’t delete without keeping a coy for yourself. 5. Don’t respond to rude messages 6. If someone angers you, wait, don’t fire off a rude comeback. It’ll only make things worse. 7. Don’t share personal information online. 8. Protect your user name and password. Don’t share it with friends. 9. Don’t open anything from someone you don’t know 10. Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information 11. Choose your friends wisely. 12. Only accept close friends on your social networking sites. 13. Don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t mind your parents seeing. 14. Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. My children and my grandchildren have already been subjected to these kinds of things and I feel that it has to stop. We need to educate our children to report problems as they happen to their parents and also, if necessary, to legal authorities. We can protect our children by educating them to be able to act and not react. Technology Self Defense is a Value.