Settling Arguments

Value Communication and Negotiation. My husband and I were having lunch the other day with some dear friends, Marty & Geri. Because they have as many grandchildren as we do and they had 8 children and we had six, lessons taught children in awkward and funny circumstances always is discussed. This time we discussed at length the value of settling arguments or the value of teaching grandchildren how to settle arguments. They told us some of their philosophies of how they taught their children to settle their own arguments. Because it was always difficult with 8 children to know where the argument started they would take both children and sit them on the stairway and tell them that they could not move until they were friends again. Sometimes it would take a short time and sometimes it would take a long time. As these children sat on the stairs they would have to decide whose turn it was to play with which toy. Sometimes it was very difficult. But after a while they would both come down from the stairway and go back to what they were doing. Sometimes Geri would see her children take themselves to the stairway to discuss a problem and then go back to playing. The stairway was neutral ground where they could both think clearly about the outcome of their dilemma. Sometimes Marty could hear negotiations coming from the middle of the floor. The children didn’t always need to go to the stairway. These children had learned the art of negotiation without argument which has kept these siblings friends to this day some 30 years later. Isn’t it essential for us to teach this to our children in this day and age where there is so much to disagree about with our peers and our own siblings? Teaching children to negotiate a peaceful settlement is a value worth teaching.

Cyber Bullying

Value Communication & Technology. It is used for so many wonderful things and wonderful learning experiences, but it can also be used in destructive ways. We have a responsibility to protect our children by educating them in the ways to act, use and to behave on the internet and with our technology. You can help by educating your family. According to http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html there is a problem. “Cyber bullying affects many adolescents and teens on a daily basis. Cyber bullying involves using technology, like cell phones and the Internet, to bully or harass another person. Cyber bullying can take many forms: 1. Sending mean messages or threats to a person’s email account or cell phone. 2. Spreading rumors online or through tests 3. Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages. 4. Stealing a person’s account information to break into their account and send damaging messages. 5. Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person. 6. Sexting, or circulating sexually suggestive pictures or messages about a person. In an article published by Raychelle Cassanda Lohmann M.S., L.P C., on May 14, 2012, in Psychology Today, she tells how teens can protect themselves. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201205/cyberbullying-versus-traditional-bullying 1. Tell a trusted adult if you’re being cyber bullied. 2. If you know someone who’s being a cyber bully, tell her/him to knock it off, if they don’t report it. 3. Contact host/site provides if inappropriate materials is being posted on their site. 4. Save all evidence if you’re being bullied online. Don’t delete without keeping a coy for yourself. 5. Don’t respond to rude messages 6. If someone angers you, wait, don’t fire off a rude comeback. It’ll only make things worse. 7. Don’t share personal information online. 8. Protect your user name and password. Don’t share it with friends. 9. Don’t open anything from someone you don’t know 10. Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information 11. Choose your friends wisely. 12. Only accept close friends on your social networking sites. 13. Don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t mind your parents seeing. 14. Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. My children and my grandchildren have already been subjected to these kinds of things and I feel that it has to stop. We need to educate our children to report problems as they happen to their parents and also, if necessary, to legal authorities. We can protect our children by educating them to be able to act and not react. Technology Self Defense is a Value.